Saturday, 10 May 2014


Darren Aronofsky has lost his touch! After two consecutively excellent movies, The Wrestler (2008) and Black Swan (2010) we have gone back to the ridiculousness of his confusing romantic drama The Fountain (2006). His latest is deemed a ‘biblical blockbuster’ and is allegedly said to be based on the story of Noah’s Ark found in Genesis chapters 6-9 in which God is said to have saved Noah, his wife, children and a male and female animal of each species from a great flood by instructing him to build a giant ark.

Filmed in Southern Island, Noah (2014) stars Russell Crowe who mopes his way through the role of Noah.  You remember Crowe he was the one who played the all singing Inspector Javert in the dreadful movie adaptation of Les Miserables (2012) well he’s not much better in the role of Gods emissary on earth, barely braking out of that earnest no nonsense look he always seems to carry around no matter what role he plays even when he’s talking to the sky! Jennifer Connelly is Naameh, Noah’s spouse. She has worked with Aronofsky before in Requiem for a Dream (2000). Emma Watson, who I really enjoyed in The Bling Ring last year, plays the daughter in law, Ila while Douglas Booth, who was Pip in the three-part BBC TV adaptation of Charles Dickens Great Expectations, is her husband and the eldest son of Noah. Anthony Hopkins, who can’t seem to land a decent role lately, plays Methuselah with Hackney born Raymond Winstone as the villain of the piece, King Tubal-Cain, who was much better as Jack Regan in last years The Sweeney. The acting is dire, hammy and completely non-convincing with everybody playing them selves - the blame for which must rest firmly with the director.    

So this is what a Tottenham supporter looks like these days?
This sanctimonious nonsense tries to teach us the meaning of life but fails miserable. Certainly not on par with biblical epics like The Ten Commandments (1956) or Ben Hur (1959) although the Aronofsky’s budget was in the region of $125 million - so there’s no real excuse. And where did the stone monsters come from, don’t remember them at Bible study! If you’re really are feeling in need of a little religion may I suggest Pasolini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew (1964) your find it far more fulfilling than this modern meaningless gobbledygook.
The version from my childhood!

I read in the paper this morning that Aronofsky’s film has spawned a series of novel’s including a graphic one, correct me if I’m wrong but I thought that Noah was already based on a book?   

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