Noah.

Darren Aronofsky has lost his touch! After two consecutively excellent movies, The Wrestler (2008) and Black Swan (2010) we have gone back to the ridiculousness of his confusing romantic drama The Fountain (2006). His latest is deemed a ‘biblical blockbuster’ and is allegedly said to be based on the story of Noah’s Ark found in Genesis chapters 6-9 in which God is said to have saved Noah, his wife, children and a male and female animal of each species from a great flood by instructing him to build a giant ark.

Filmed in Southern Island, Noah (2014) stars Russell Crowe who mopes his way through the role of Noah.  You remember Crowe he was the one who played the all singing Inspector Javert in the dreadful movie adaptation of Les Miserables (2012) well he’s not much better in the role of Gods emissary on earth, barely braking out of that earnest no nonsense look he always seems to carry around no matter what role he plays even when he’s talking to the sky! Jennifer Connelly is Naameh, Noah’s spouse. She has worked with Aronofsky before in Requiem for a Dream (2000). Emma Watson, who I really enjoyed in The Bling Ring last year, plays the daughter in law, Ila while Douglas Booth, who was Pip in the three-part BBC TV adaptation of Charles Dickens Great Expectations, is her husband and the eldest son of Noah. Anthony Hopkins, who can’t seem to land a decent role lately, plays Methuselah with Hackney born Raymond Winstone as the villain of the piece, King Tubal-Cain, who was much better as Jack Regan in last years The Sweeney. The acting is dire, hammy and completely non-convincing with everybody playing them selves - the blame for which must rest firmly with the director.    

So this is what a Tottenham supporter looks like these days?

This sanctimonious nonsense tries to teach us the meaning of life but fails miserable. Certainly not on par with biblical epics like The Ten Commandments (1956) or Ben Hur (1959) although the Aronofsky’s budget was in the region of $125 million - so there’s no real excuse. And where did the stone monsters come from, don’t remember them at Bible study! If you’re really are feeling in need of a little religion may I suggest Pasolini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew (1964) your find it far more fulfilling than this modern meaningless gobbledygook.

 

The version from my childhood!

I read in the paper this morning that Aronofsky’s film has spawned a series of novel’s including a graphic one, correct me if I’m wrong but I thought that Noah was already based on a book?   

Les Miserables.

Unless you’ve been living on a far away planet you couldn’t miss the fact that Les Miserables (2012) has again been adapted for the big screen, this time by Tom Hooper who was responsible for the very successful movie, The Kings Speech (2010).  The story, as ever, is based on the 1862 French historical novel by Victor Hugo described as a tale about broken dreams, unrequited love, passion, sacrifice and redemption. It begins in 1815 in France when Jean Valjean is released from a 19-year prison term, for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family, and ends with the unsuccessful 1832 June Rebellion in Paris.  In between we get Valjean attempting to avoid re-arrest for jumping bail, by his nemesis Inspector Javert.

Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean.

I’m not really a fan of stage musicals, although no one can deny that that a 27-year run for any stage show is exceptional. I only attended this movie because my wife expressed a wish to see it (although I suspect it had some thing to do with Hugh Jackman being in the cast) and the fact that it was at the RBC Film Theatre on her birthday, job done. My backside was not the only thing numb at the end of its 158-minute running time! It started all right but the longer it went on the more tedious it became. The films production and the cinematography were excellent and I was pleasantly surprised by Anne Hathaway’s performance as Fantine the workhouse girl who turns to prostitution, a role that won her an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. But I was unconvinced by the musical score, I would have preferred a standard spoken narrative instead of one being sung to music.  Also it’s a very male dominated story with the two main characters always coming across as Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe rather than Jean Valjean and Inspector Javert. Never mind that’s me done my bit for mainstream cinema for a while.

Russell Crowe as the Inspector.

Robin Hood (2010)

I am reliable informed that nothing in Ridley Scott’s version of the legend of Robin Hood is based on fact, but who cares, his latest film Robin Hood (2010) is an enjoyable romp that brings to mind the Hollywood swashbuckling tradition which Scott has made palatable for the expectations of modern day cinema audiences. British film director Ridley Scott has made some seriously enjoyable movies including The Duellists (1977) Alien (1979) Blade Runner (1982) Gladiator (2000) Black Hawk Down (2001) American Gangster (2007) Body of Lies (2008) and my own personnel favourite Thelma and Louise (1991).

The outlaw and the Lady.

Robin Hood, originally titled Nottingham, is Scott’s fifth collaboration with Russell Crowe who despite the bad press makes a great Robin Longstride who in the film becomes the heroic legend and social outcast who went on to rob the rich and give to the poor, a sort of reverse David Cam-moron! The villian of the piece is the sadistic, ruthless but clever Sir Godfrey, (splendidly played by Mark Strong ) King Johns henchman who conspires with the “evil French” King Philip, to invade the shores of Great Britain. The film reinvents the normally passive Lady Marian Loxley portraying her as a liberated woman, equal to the men in her life and quite capable of taming the wild Robin of the Hood. Cate Blanchett makes a beautiful and courageous Marian who rides bravely into battle with the British cavalry dressed in a suite of armour!!!! Come back Saturday morning at the pictures! I can’t wait for the obvious sequel. Perhaps we will get it next Saturday?