Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.

This spoof parody of film noir, which was originally intended for DVD release only, has been shown at festivals all over the world and amusingly starts with the following disclaimer:

‘The Chainsaws used in this motion picture are REAL and DANGEROUSE! They are handled here by seasoned professionals (which is not true). The makers of this motion picture advice strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex  (good advice). My conscience is clear - signed by the director’. 

With a budget of around 50,000 dollars this low budget one-take cult classic had only one print produced and was made in five days over two weekends using borrowed equipment and sets. Written, directed and produced by Fred Olen Ray who is best known for American grindhouse ‘B’ movies of which Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) fits quite nicely in this genre.

 

Jack questions Mercedes.

Packed with macabre gore, buckets of blood, cracking looking young ladies who aren’t frightened to wave a real chainsaw about make this movie a guilty pleasure and one cant help feel that the cast and crew had great fun making it.

 

Samantha demonstrates the safe use of a chainsaw...

A private investigator Jack Chandler looking for a missing girl begins trailing a stripper called Samantha who he believes might know something relating to murders that are happening across downtown LA. Meanwhile Mercedes, a prostitute, is shocked to discover her new employers have a keen fetish for chainsaws and like nothing more than to sacrifice a few of their unruly customers. After Jack uncovers the sect of chainsaw-worshipping hookers, he realises they just might be connected to the recent series of murders[1].

 

....while the attentive Mercedes looks on.

Jack Chandler is played by Jay Richardson, Mercedes by Michelle Bauer a July 1981Penthouse Pet who became a well known American B movie actress and scream queen and who also appeared in a notorious porn movie in 1982 called Café Flesh. Her iconic picture decorates the front of the DVD release. Another well-known B movie actress the lovely Linnea Quigley plays Samantha. You will also spot Gunner Hanson who played Leatherface in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) as The Stranger. A film not to be missed if only for the double virgin chainsaw dance and a demonstration of how useful a Hudson sprayer can be!

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[1] Synopsis provide by Love Film.

Sisters of Death.

Six attractive young women take part in a ceremony inducting two new members into ‘The Sisters Secret Society’. Part of the ritual includes what should have been a fake game of Russian roulette that goes very wrong and kills Liz (Elizabeth Bergen) one of the new recruits. Moving forward seven years each of the remaining ‘sisters’ receives an invitation inviting each of them to a reunion. When they get to their hotel two men have been sent to collect the girls and transport them to a large estate in the desert. The house turns out to be very spacious villa with its own swimming pool; food and drink are laid on for their arrival. The two men drive off but return attracted by the girls. What none of them notice is the high electrified fence that surrounds the property obviously designed to keep the house guests from leaving. On further investigation they discover that Liz’s father who has sworn to get revenge on the girls for the death of his daughter owns the estate. 

As you can probable guess various unsavoury things begin to happen to both the girls and the two Casanovas and I would not dream of spoiling Sisters of Death (1976) for you if like me you are a fan of Grindhouse or B-movies. The copy of the film on the Grindhouse Channel was not particularly good but I don’t think you can blame its bleached out exterior shots on that.

Shot in 1972 but not released until 1976 it was directed by Joseph Mazzuca and starred amongst others Claudia Jennings an American actress and model who was the Playboy Magazines Playmate of the Year for 1970 and who appeared in various feature films and TV shows in the 1970’s before her premature death in a car crash at the age of 29. 

As with this kind of low budget movies it has a simple, slightly corny story line, although the second half hot’s up considerably, the acting is as you would expect but all in all it’s not a bad film. Plenty of pretty young ladies, but surprisingly without the nudity that normally embellishes this type of genre, and some good thrills and a climatic shot-out make it an interesting watch. Unfortunately the movie ends with a dubious explanation of the films reasoning which is its only real shortcoming.

      

Claudia Jennings Playmate of the Year 1970.

Caged Heat.

Woman in prison films, or as they are known WiP, is a subgenre of the exploitation movie genre that allegedly started with the relaxation of censorship laws in the 1960’s. I’m sure you have sampled the genre if not then these are best described as films that involve women locked up in penile institution’s and left at the mercy of various rather unsavoury prison staff and inmates.

 

The wonderful Barbara Steele. 

One of the better-known WiP movies is Jonathan Demme’s debut feature film that he wrote and directed for Roger Gorman’s New World Pictures. Caged Heat (1974) has developed a cult following over the years mainly because of its humorous approach to the subject and elements of feminism and social consciousness not always found in WiP movies. Certainly a lot of the credit must go to its director who went on to direct films which included The Silence of the Lambs (1991), The Manchurian Candidate (2004) and the recent Ricki and the Flash (2015) which stars Meryl Streep.

 

Various scenes of violence and sex....

This 1974 grindhouse movie has all the ingredients that made up this genre including a sexually repressed prison superintendent, this time in a wheelchair and played by horror icon Barbara Steele. It also includes any excuse to rip the clothes of the female prisoners; lots of naked shower scenes, and an overriding hint of lesbian sex and of cause a doctor who is a perverted maniac who performs various nasty ‘things’ on the prisoners. And we must not forget a large and bloody dose of violence, prison breakouts and good-looking sexy women. There you have it, the actual story is not really important, in this case as with most of these films we have women locked up for various reasons, they fight the system, battle unfair treatment and hope to escape.

 

.... populate a WiP drama.

The movie also stars Erica Gavin who had the title role in Russ Meyers Vixen (1968), Roberta Collins who appeared in Jack Hills The Big Dolls House (1968) another cult WiP movie and the wonderfully named Rainbeaux Smith. John Cale, founding member of The Velvet Underground wrote and performed on the soundtrack, which also featured the guitar playing of Mike Bloomfield an original member of the Paul Butterfield Blues Band.     

Andy Warhol’s Bad.

In Robin Bougie’s ‘adults only guide to history’s sickest and sexiest movies’ Cinema Sewer it describes the highlight of this film as being when a baby is chucked out of a high rise apartment block by its mother! What it doesn’t describe is that when the baby spatters on the walkway below it covers a female passer-by with blood and guts – all graphically shot in colour.  And in another scene - just to piss of the animal lovers - a dog is stabbed because the woman living opposite the dogs owner, who had made fun of the woman because of her size, has paid to have the dog killed!

 

Hazel makes hairy women more beautiful. 

 As you can imagine this very black satire is not a movie that would suit everyone’s taste. What we have on the surface is a hardworking New York housewife Hazel Aiken (Carol Baker) who runs a facial hair removal business from her home. But because she is responsible for looking after a large collection of misfits, sorry relatives, she supplements her income by running a female hit squad who carry out killing other more morally upstanding killers won’t touch - such as babies, young autistic children and not forgetting dogs. But Hazel’s life isn’t all sweetness and light making hairy women more beautiful and managing her good-looking squad of young female assassins, she has to pay off the local detective and to make matters worse  a good looking young male killer turns up on her doorstep looking for work.   

 

Unmarried mother Mary has just about had enough! 

Andy Warhol’s Bad (1977) was the last film produced by Warhol before his death in 1987. It was made at his Factory Film Studio in New York City and was directed by Jed Johnson who was initially hired by Warhol to sweep floors at the studio. He became Andy’s live-in lover for twelve years and was killed in 1996 when TWA Flight 800 exploded shortly after take off killing all 230 passengers and crew.

 

The beautiful Cyrinda Foxe.

The film's cast includes not only Baker but Susan Tyrrell who won a Best Supporting Actress Award as Hazel Aiken’s sister-in-law Mary, Cyrinda Foxe as RC, Cyrinda who had an affair with David Bowie and appeared in his video The Jean Genie sadly had to rely on charity to find somewhere to stay when she was dying in 2002. The Italian actress Stefania Casini plays another of the female hit squad PG and those familiar with American TV will recognise LT the male member of the hit squad as Perry King. In a small part as the owner of the unfortunate canine we find Lawrence Tierney who has made a career out of playing mobsters including Joe Cabot in Reservoir Dogs (1992).  Mike Bloomfield provided the music for the movie.  

 

LT introduces himself to PG. 

Cheezy Flicks is a company in Portland Oregon USA who have created a collection of films expressly for the promotion of some of the ‘cheeziest’ films released on DVD. To meet this criterion a movie has to be a terrible B-Movie, a classic horror, sci-fi, sword and sandal or possible a euro-trash classic typically involving things like horrible acting, an abysmal story line, and the worst set props possible. I do not think that Andy Warhol’s Bad actually qualifies under these criteria but would like to thank the company for giving us the opportunity to enjoy such rare movies.

Freeway.

Where do you start blogging a film like Freeway (1996) Matthew Bright's first outing as writer and director? Perhaps by telling you it’s a sordid over the top tale of woe based on the European folk tale Little Red Riding Hood or better still starting by describing the brilliant early lead performance of Reese Witherspoon as Vanessa Lust, the poor, illiterate underage teenage daughter of a Los Angeles drug addicted prostitute who is sexually abused by her step father and who encounters a serial killer on the way to live with her grandmother in Stockton – a performance that won her a Best Actress Award. Then there were the movie censorship problems due to graphic language and violent content, cut to enable a NC-17 rating when released in the USA.

When both of her parents get arrested, Vanessa steals the car of her family-services caseworker and heads up the Freeway to live with her paternal grandmother who she has never met. When the cars engine blows it force her to accept a ride from charming and sympathetic Bob Wolverton who tells her he is a youth counsellor. During the journey Vanessa finds herself confessing the sordidly sexual details of her childhood but its not long before Vanessa realises the true identity of her driver - just before he attacks her and declares his intention to murder her and have sex with her corpse! He turns out to have been slaughtering young prostitutes in the Los Angeles area.  Thanks to a gun borrowed from her fiancé, Vanessa turns the tables on Bob, shooting him repeatedly and leaving him for dead. Of course it’s not long before the Police catch up with our teenager and she ends up in court. But this is only the beginning of a spiral of depravity for Vanessa.

 

Nice wheels.

It also stars some other well-known actors including Kiefer Sutherland as serial killer Bob Wolverton, Dan Hedaya as Detective Garnet Wallace; the brilliant Honey Bunny from Pulp Fiction (1994) Amanda Plummer as Vanessa’s mum from hell Ramona, with the tragic Brittany Murphy playing Rhonda, Vanessa’s heroin addicted lesbian friend. This 1996 exploitation/grindhouse movie is exceptionally good mainly due to that award winning performance from Reese Witherspoon and did manage to garner some very good reviews and is better than its straight to video sequel Freeway 2 Confessions of a Trickbaby (1999)